I honestly didn't think it was possible, but my sons managed to pull in more loot this year than last.
This year, two SUVs barely provided enough space.
For my upcoming birthday, I am considering buying a neighbor's house and using it for storage. The gift to me would be the ability to walk across any room in my house on nothing but actual carpet.
Believe it or not, we once again have reached the final column of the year (No, really -- some of you won't even be able to read it until 2010).
I have long held the theory that the first few months of the year go by much faster than the last few, but I believe 2009 finally put that theory to rest -- I'm fairly certain there was no slowdown after summer ended this time around.
I'm almost starting to believe that time goes by even faster once there are children in the house. I wish someone would have mentioned that before. What's that? Hmmm.
Still, there were lessons to be learned in 2009, and what good are lessons learned if you don't share them with the world, preferably in a column?
A few things I learned in 2009:
1. Jerry Jones' newest toy, No-Corporate-Name-Just-Yet Stadium, is everything I love and hate about professional sports all rolled up into one massively stylish and overpriced package.
Large, comfortable seats? Check.
World's largest high-def TV screens? Oh, yeah.
Great sightlines and acoustics for sporting events? Absolutely.
Beers for $10? Um, yeah.
Pizzas for $90? Yep.
Parking passes more expensive than some teams' tickets? Uh-huh.
And that's not even mentioning the go-gobots, which also happen to be everything I love and hate about pro sports all rolled into one.
2. During my last 30-plus years of snide comments and mockery, I was wrong about soccer. I love it. Yeah, I said it.
3. Tiger Woods is but the latest member of the Rock Hudson Memorial Carefully Cultured Public Persona Club.
After his wife's broken heart mends, she will be in the enviable position of being young, single, stunningly beautiful and filthy rich while enjoying an immense amount of public sympathy. I predict 2010 will be very, very good to Elin.
4. The most instinctive way to get off a couch is face-first, a lesson my sons taught me the same day they learned to climb onto the couch without help. Later, of course, they'll realize that getting off the couch is a bad idea, but they must live and learn at their own pace.
6. Four months is far too long for me to go without visiting a movie theater. I honestly don't remember the last time, which is quite unnatural for me.
7. My wife is a saint. No, I didn't actually learn that in 2009, but I still like to reiterate it just in case the committee is reading.
8. The BCS still needs a playoff. Again, not a new lesson, but still worth mentioning.
9. Sleep might be overrated, but flannel pajama pants are not.
10. The least desirable job, even after all these years, is weather forecaster in Texas. Even if you are a rock star at your job, Texas will make you look stupid just about every week.
"Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are."
Malcolm Forbes
Jeremy A. Corley is the managing editor of the Van Alstyne Leader and The Anna-Melissa Tribune.